Tuesday 26 November 2013

Day 26: Cohabitation: Or, how the hell do you do it?!

Another day, another #BEDN post that hasn't quite gone to plan.  The topic today is 'Home Sweet Home,' and I wanted to do a house tour, but lack of time to take photographs during daylight hours has scuppered that plan.  Hopefully next week I will manage to put something together.
 
In the meantime, though, I have something I want to solicit advice about.  You see, I have exciting news... The Boy is moving in!  However, having lived on my own for the last eight years and having never lived with a significant other, I am somewhat adrift.  And he, having also never cohabited with a partner, is equally clueless.
 
I really cannot wait to share my space with T: to make a home together and have him there every day and every night (which, to be honest, is not terribly different to how things are now.  We worked out recently that he spends about 8 hours a week at his house and the rest of his time at mine).  However, I really don't have a clue how I will adjust to having him living in the house that has been mine and mine alone for five years.
 
We are already talking about things like joint accounts; about how to divide up the housework; about who puts their books where*; about what to do regarding our differing styles in home decor.  But it's all so new to me and I really want us to get this right.  While trying not to be too puke-inducing, our relationship has been pretty damn amazing thus far, and I don't want cohabitation to mess things up.
 
So, I want to know how you guys do it!  Is there anything I should not do.  

* Although I already know the answer to this one: I put my books where I want, he builds a new shelf for his so they don't mix with mine.

13 comments:

  1. Thats amazing news! Congratulations!
    As for tips on cohabiting, the only offer I can advise is to go with the flow. It sounds like you and the boy are open to each other and understand other well. You will be fine! Things like blending stuff, chores, bills and routines work themselves out.
    Good luck! x

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    1. Thank you! It's not happening till the new year but I am trying to get myself prepared for it.

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  2. Congratulations, that's truly great news! I can't give you any tips as I have no experience whatsoever, but just follow your instincts! ;)

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  3. Oh fantastic, what happy news :) I say just go with the flow... and if you think it say it (albeit carefully sometimes) because it's much better than letting anything get to you.

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    1. Excellent advice. In past relationships I used to let things fester, the thing I love about T is that I can say anything to him and he'll work with me on sorting out the issue, whatever it may be.

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  4. Congrats! You'll have a ball. I moved in with my boyf just over a month ago after over 3 years (i.e. our whole relationship) long distance, and have been loving it so far (although I came from living with two other people rather than living alone so I was very used to co-habiting). As for tips for living together... as people have said, I think 'go with the flow' is key. I'm a bit of a control freak by nature, so I've had to come to realise that my way of doing something is not the only way/the best way! Let little things go that don't matter. Try not to be work stresses home too much. Keep having your own life outside of your relationship. The maxim 'praise more than you criticise' is more often applied to children or in the work place, but works well here too!

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    1. Excellent tips, thank you :) I am terrible at sometimes treating T like one of my pupil's, "do this, do that". At the moment he thinks it is funny but I'm not so sure he'll feel the same in 10 years time!

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    2. Oh, and YAY! to your moving in together after 3 years long distance. Wow! No more trips to Nottingham I take it?

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    3. Quite a few less trips to Notts, but not stopping entirely as my family lives there. It actually worked out pretty well Ben being there, of all places, as I got to roll visiting Ben and visiting family into one trip every time - nice and efficient! I reckon I'll still be up every few months or so.

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  5. Congratulation! Such exciting news!!

    I can't really offer much advice - I moved in with Rob after we had been together for about 3 months, when my mum and dad threw me out!

    We just went with it. So I guess that's my advice. Just take it as it comes. It doesn't have to be scary, it can just be a thing that happens. You will be sharing with someone you like very much, and that is fun.

    Yay!

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  6. Congrats. That is fab news! I have to admit my bf and i found it v difficult at first.....but 6 years later, we are still together so it must be working! we too were both used to living on our own and when i moved in with him ( I rented out my place) I found it quite hard as it turned out he was not as laid back as I always imagined, tidy to the point of being Monica Geller and we both had completely different interior design ideas. He likes minimalist and I like clutter. Luckilly we have both learned to compremise ~ that is the key I think. I love him more than ever. :)

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  7. My biggest piece of advise is get a cleaner. My hubby and I both work long hours - and the last thing we ever want to do when we have time together is fight over domestic duties. £25 every two weeks keeps us happy and our living space sparkly.
    Claire xx
    http://somewhereyonder.blogspot.co.uk/

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  8. Woohoo! Congratulations! Me and the other half have lived together for almost 7 years - the best advice I can give is:
    1. If you don't want to cook, don't worry about getting a takeaway - your house, your rules!
    2. It's okay to feel like you want to kill your partner sometimes - I've been told that's completely normal...
    3. You won't notice the housework he does for you and he won't notice the housework you do for him - you just have to get on with that and accept it (even if it is very aggravating!)
    4. And don't forget to put the bins out... :-) x

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