Friday 14 February 2014

The obligatory cheesy Valentine's Day post


This time last year, I was in the Netherlands visiting The Boy.  We'd been seeing each other for almost six months but had been apart for three of those months.  I was trying to figure out how to tell him I loved him; trying to come to terms with the fact that I'd accidentally fallen head over heels with someone who lived hundreds of miles away; hoping against hope that all of the heartache of separation and the expense of travel would be worth it, that he would love me back.

Well, as long-time readers will know, everything worked out just peachy.  He moved back to the UK in September and moved in with me over Christmas.  As we were coming up to Valentine's Day, I started thinking about all the things I love about him.  And, quite apart from him being the funniest, most intelligent, geekiest, cutest person I've ever known, one of the things very near the top of the list was the fact that he puts up with me.  Because I am a bit of a nightmare to live with, frankly...

I'm incorrigibly bossy.  I'll think nothing of sitting on the sofa with T and telling him to get up and fetch something from the kitchen.  I push and pull him into positions that feel comfortable for me (during cuddling - get your minds out of the gutter!), and will brook little argument.  I may ask his opinion about something - from what to watch on TV to where to go on holiday - but we both know that it's me who'll have the final say.   And you know what?  He does it all without complaining.  In fact, he laughs: he actually thinks this is a cute trait of mine.  Lets see if he's still laughing in five years time...

I'm a tad bonkers. Mostly in a nice way, but still, I know I can be a bit too Jess-from-New-Girl at times.  Examples of this include making up a song to sing to our pancakes, making him skip through Nottingham with me, and squealing with delight because he'd bought me a packet of crisps.  I'm over-enthusiastic and hyper and silly at times, and I knew he was a keeper when he told me that, far from just putting up with my crazy, it was one of the reasons he loves me.

However, I'm not always stupidly cheery and Pollyanna-like.  I'm nightmarishly mercurial and can suddenly, and with no warning, become terribly grumpy.  Most often while trying to park my car or while cooking dinner, but sometimes completely randomly, I will become incredibly curt and probably very rude.  I can be very uptight about needing things to be done just so, and I am intolerant of him doing things that I myself do - such as leaving dirty washing lying on the bedroom floor. I guess part of the problem is that I've been living alone for a long time, so I'm used to everything being exactly as I want it to be, and that means I notice the negative more often than the positive.  For example, I detest washing up whereas he doesn't mind it.  So every day before work he washes up, leaving the kitchen nice and tidy for when I come home.  But do I focus on this lovely thing he does, day-in, day-out?  Do I heckers like.  I moan about his inability to put things away in the cupboards. 

Frankly, he is a saint and not only do I love him entirely, but I am thankful every single day that he puts up with my shit.  Although we are incredibly similar in many ways, our key difference is that, while I am so tightly wound I'm constantly in danger of unravelling, he is utterly laid back and chilled out.  I think it's this that makes us work so well, balancing each other out; me driving him on and him calming me down.

So, happy Valentine's Day to T.  If he can keep from killing me when I'm in one of my more difficult moods, may we have many more to come.

20 comments:

  1. Lovely. This is why I love this day. You can thank The Girl for leading me here, as now I want to do the "blast through the blog backlog" thing to see what else you may have had to say once upon a day.

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  2. I love this post. And isn't real life romance more perfect than movie love? In films, everyone is the ideal match and beyond together. But in real life love can be hard, and is about living with and learning to love flaws
    flaws. I love that about humans. You deserve to be happy and I am so glad you are x

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    1. Agreed. Luckily for me, we both seem to find each others flaws endearing (at the moment anyway!) and T is so tolerant of me when I'm being my most difficult.

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  3. What a lovely post. I'm moving in with the boy next month and very much hoping he finds my highly irritating habits endearing!

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  4. Argh, you could be describing Steve and me! But I'm glad we've both found the men who will put up with us (and I love that photo of the two of you!).

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    1. It;s my favourite photo of us, mainly because it doesn't show my face!

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  5. Hi

    I recently discovered your blog and have been enjoying it! You sound very like me, I can identify with all the things you've written here and I have a lovely man who puts up with it all too! We've been together for 8/9 years and he hasn't had enough of me yet - we've obviously picked lovely, tolerant men!

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    1. Thanks :)

      Yep, I think picking a super-chilled, lovely, kind man was my masterstroke.

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  6. You sound like me and my husband. Different yet similar.

    He's quiet and bookish, intelligent and thoughtful. I'm loud, not very clever and selfish. However we share similar interests and have the same morals. We do bring out the better sides of each other.

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    1. T and I are both bookish and quiet and want the same things in life, but his chillness balances my obstreperous nature and tendency towards hyperactivity. It's taught me a lot about the benefits of having someone to balance me out.

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  7. Aww this is lovely. There is hope for me yet, then. :D

    Jen | gingerellaj.blogspot.co.uk

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  8. What a lovely photo of the two of you Janet! I really love your take on a typical Valentine's Day post, sounds like you are a great couple.

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    1. Aw, thanks Saskia. It's my fave because he looks so cute and the fact you can't see me is a massive bonus!

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  9. This is a lovely post - you are so incredibly sweet!

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  10. This is a lovely post - I love that photo too - it is so full of joy x

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  11. Aww this is lovely. I have to admit that I cringed at the fact I have similar traits - moaning about his clothes on the floor while stepping over mine is just one example - and often wonder how he puts up with me. But he does.
    Hears to many more Valentines together :)

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  12. Did I write hears? Why did I not see that before I hit publish!

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