Tuesday 27 August 2013

About a boy

Scrolling through Twitter the other day, I see someone's retweet: "Grown women, please stop it with all this 'the boy' shit".

It made me cringe, for a moment, because of course I totally do all that "the boy shit" on here.  And then I started to think about why I do it. Because actually, I'm the kind of person who would usually be driven up the wall by just that kind of twee appellation. So why do I call The Boy, The Boy?

There are a few reasons. 

Firstly, and most importantly, he works in an area of academia that's very Internet- and social media-savvy. Using even his first name - with the other details I sometimes use (his hometown, for example) - might lead to him being too easily identifiable, which seems a bit unfair when it's not his blog.  He doesn't need, when looking for a job or a postdoctoral position, to have potential employers googling him and coming up with my lovelorn crap. 

Secondly, there's the small matter of our age difference. The Boy is eight years younger than me - 27 to my 35 - and so calling him by that name is a gentle way of acknowledging yet mocking what is a fairly unusual difference in ages (and never mind that he is a good sight more mature than I am).

And finally, what the hell else am I supposed to call him?  As I said above, I can't use his real name. I could, and have toyed with, just using his initial (which is T, for those of a nosey disposition).  The Man is just... well, it makes him sound like he's in the government or the CIA or whoever we talk about when we talk about 'the man'. I really hate the phrase 'partner'.  So, what do I call him?

I call him The Boy. It might sound a bit nauseating, but it's what I've become used to.  I'm sorry if people find it irritating or babyish, but you'll just have to cope.  It's a name he is fond of. It's a name with a reason behind it. It's a name that is going to stay

8 comments:

  1. Haha I used to get this all the time! In my previous blog (Living with a Boy) I referred to The Boy and used to get slated for it - I remember one person saying it was demeaning at one point.

    Sometimes people on the internet have too much time on their hands.

    Ignore them.

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    1. I reckon that whatever affectionate nickname you pick for someone, there will always be someone else out there who takes issue with it. My particular bugbear is 'hubby' - can't STAND the word - but if you want to use it, go right ahead.

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  2. Well, "The Man" just makes me hear some disembodied voice going, "Who da man?" and I HATE that. As for "Partner", it's no fun - and what's a relationship without fun? Call him whatever you like - I'm just glad that you're happy!

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  3. I wouldn't worry about it. But I guess one other option would be 'The Dude' (I'm sure he'd abide).

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    1. It's funny you say that, because 'dude' is my IRL nickname for him. But yeah, it's just too Big Lebowski for me.

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    2. It's funny you say that, because 'dude' is my IRL nickname for him. But yeah, it's just too Big Lebowski for me.

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