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I really enjoyed Lisa's recent Impossible Wishlist on Mathilde Heart Manech. Like her, I often write lust lists of pretty Etsy prints or nice dresses, but thinking about the things that you really want but can never have is somewhat more of a challenge. Often, the things that seem "impossible" aren't really; a lot of the ideas I came up with were just difficult, not impossible. To pay off debts, to travel more, to go back to university... those things might not be easy to achieve but, unlike my final three, they are all attainable with a bit of hard work. These things, though, really are impossible.
1. For my mum to get her hearing back.
Although hard of hearing since she was 30 (something went "pop" when she was pregnant with me, and from that point on she was pretty much deaf in one ear), my mum was diagnosed with degenerative hearing loss in her 40s. She always coped well and continued to play guitar and sing, became a manager of a large charity, and worked as a Relate counsellor in her spare time. But when - after a slow process of hearing loss - she suddenly went completely deaf about ten years ago, it came as a shock. No more singing for my music-loving mum. No more long chats on the phone to update her on my day-to-day life. No more enjoying rowdy family meals, with everyone competing to talk at the same time. The impact going deaf has had on her is devastating. She manages incredibly well, using a combination of hearing aids, sign language and lip-reading to communicate, but watching her struggle and become frustrated and exhausted by the efforts needed to 'hear' is awful. I wish I could have the impossible and give her back her hearing.
Although hard of hearing since she was 30 (something went "pop" when she was pregnant with me, and from that point on she was pretty much deaf in one ear), my mum was diagnosed with degenerative hearing loss in her 40s. She always coped well and continued to play guitar and sing, became a manager of a large charity, and worked as a Relate counsellor in her spare time. But when - after a slow process of hearing loss - she suddenly went completely deaf about ten years ago, it came as a shock. No more singing for my music-loving mum. No more long chats on the phone to update her on my day-to-day life. No more enjoying rowdy family meals, with everyone competing to talk at the same time. The impact going deaf has had on her is devastating. She manages incredibly well, using a combination of hearing aids, sign language and lip-reading to communicate, but watching her struggle and become frustrated and exhausted by the efforts needed to 'hear' is awful. I wish I could have the impossible and give her back her hearing.
2. For the Netherlands to be next to Yorkshire.
And yes, smart aleck, I know that strictly speaking it is next to Yorkshire, but I'd like there to not be a bloody great sea in the way. Because when The Boy finishes his PhD in two years time, he wants to move back there. And I want to be with him, so I will have to move too. I'm up for the adventure, but the thought of being far from family in Yorkshire and friends in the Midlands and London does not appeal quite so much. So if I could just pick Holland up and plonk it down - in the Pennines maybe? - that would be grand (although I'm not sure how well the Dutch would cope with all those hills). Oh, and while we're at it, if I could become fluent in Dutch without having to actually learn, that would be handy too.
3. For my friends to be carefree and happy once again.
The last twelve months have been amazing for me but gruelling for others. Whilst I've been falling in love, travelling Europe, and generally having a blissful time, some of my closest friends have been facing massive challenges in their relationships, careers and personal lives. It's horrible to watch the people who mean the most to you going through things that you can do nothing to change. If I could wave a magic wand and sort things out for them, I would do it in a heartbeat. Luckily, the things that would make them happy aren't themselves impossible, and I'm very much hoping that with a bit of time things come right for them the way they have for me.
Hmm, lists like this really put things into perspective, don't they? I can definitely relate to all three of them - I hate seeing my disabled sister struggle with life, I'd love to live abroad but at the same time would miss my friends & family terribly, and although (I think!) most of my friends are OK right now, its awful watching them go through hard times and know you can do nothing about it. How awful that your mum's lost her hearing. I can't even contemplate a life without sound, it's just beyond frightening.
ReplyDeleteYep, when I'm having a moan about a bad day at work, I try very hard to remind myself how lucky I really am!
DeleteI'm sorry that your Mum has had to face losing her hearing Janet. That must be very hard for you too. Watching family and friends suffer is harder than dealing with our own problems because we can't control the situation. Hoping that your friends, however, will find their way x
ReplyDeleteThanks. You're exactly right- it can be hard to watch other people suffer (my tendency is to want to make everything better, and of course there's a lot that you just can't 'make better').
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