A guide to understanding the introverted

This cartoon was all over my Facebook and Twitter feeds just before Christmas, but deservedly so.  I would have always described myself as an introvert, but I didn't truly understand what that meant until I read this. 

Although there is a difference between being introverted and being shy, unfortunately I am both.  But whereas I've learnt, to a certain extent, to beat my shyness (and according to others, come across as quite confident), my introversion is not so easily defeated.  There is a Midlake lyric, from Van Occupanther, which sums me up perfectly:

"I'd like to go home / And stay out of sight for a long time"

I've always known that I find socialising hard not just because of the shyness but because I find it exhausting to be around people.  After spending time in public, I've always felt the need to go home and shut the door and be completely alone for hours on end.  I've always replenished my energy by spending time on my own, and am perfectly capable of spending entire weekends in the bliss of solitude.  But I didn't really know why that was until I saw the cartoon, when everything fell into place for me.

It also made me better able to understand one of my brothers, who is much more of an introvert than me.  I am quite good at putting a mask on and fooling people into thinking I am more extroverted than I am, whereas he brooks no such pretence and, during family gatherings, will often withdraw to another room to read or sit quietly.  It's funny that although I have that exact same urge, I found it hard to understand in him until this cartoon spelt it out for me.

I used to worry, before meeting The Boy, how on earth I would cope with a significant other who, presumably, would expect me to actually spend time with them, and maybe even share a house with them.  It is the greatest joy of our relationship that I find spending time with him as restorative as spending time alone; that, in fact, it feels exactly like being by myself.

Reflecting on how being introverted affects me, I have realised that I need to make sure I plan time alone into my weeks.  Before, I would be tempted to say "yes" to any invitation I got and end up feeling exhausted and unwell by the end of a weekend.  Now I know that I need to prioritise time on my own, even if that means I have to decline making plans with friends. 

I sometimes wonder what it must feel like to be more extroverted and whether it would make my life any easier: I suspect not, as I am sure it just comes with different complications.  

Are you an introvert or an extrovert, and would you like to change?